In two months I will be…dun dun DUN! 28 YEARS OLD! I honestly don’t know where the years have gone, I can remember turning 21 years old, even 14 years old not that long ago or younger than that for that matter. But time has gone on and I am grateful for my life, good health, and enough strength to keep growing, even when I feel down. Today I reflect on myself and my life post-college. It seems that everything before that was just playtime, carefree, just being young. Now, most of what I think about is my career, bills, and how time is going super fast. It’s like this, as a kid or even as a teenager I never gave much thought about growing old or that my parents and other family members older than me God’s willing would grow older too. I hadn’t thought that as I age they would too because I still see them in a certain way. Perhaps I spend too much time focusing on time, how much is left in a particular day or how much time I have to make it to work. Time to me is precious but it also scares me.

However, I digress from being time obsessed as I type this and just get to the goal at hand, and that’s to compose my “Dear Me” advice to myself. Often, probably too often I am giving advice to others but rarely for myself. But because I am on the path to learning of my worth and swimming eagerly to new beginnings I’d like to give advice to my younger self. Because she, me, stayed inside my head a lot and had so many expectations of others but not putting enough pressure on myself. This isn’t a “things I wish I did back then” sort of advice. It’s more of notice to the memory of myself, specifically my teenaged self and post-college self to bring full circle who I am today, and she, me is pretty great. Here it goes.

Dear Me,

The fears you kept inside you from a very young age of being taken advantage of sexually, that was fine. The incident of a man you didn’t know who tried to coerce you into his car, he’s gone now, he didn’t harm you or will ever harm you. Your hesitation at 12 years old not wanting to have sex even though some girls in your class at that age were, you were right to wait. Because you began to mature very early you appeared to be something you weren’t or hadn’t done. It was ok to want to grow up and discover yourself, to love who you are before anyone had “taken” the most precious symbol of your impending womanhood. When you had insecurities about your dark complexion because mean children or media poked fun at it, there was nothing wrong with your skin. There was nothing wrong with wearing bright colors or letting the sun shine on you for more than five minutes. Your skin is beautiful, it tells a story, your story. So don’t think about it as being “dark” because like the moon glows on a clear night, you are special, and your mahogany flesh is not ugly. I wanted to also tell you, younger me that not every plan you have will be laid out in detail for you. There is no blueprint for anyone’s life but having goals and aspirations are the road map to follow. And just because you have always felt no one noticed you or remembered you after some time, you will be acknowledged. It will be beyond someone recalling your name or how to spell it or pronounce it. It will be beyond accolades of degrees upon degrees. It will be your talent and your smooth and relatable personality that people will notice. Whether or not you are most popular or that you become a trending topic when social media rolls around, that’s not important. “Likes” and “shares” do not matter, your compassion does. Don’t hold your life next to someone else who appears to have it better than you, don’t measure yourself as less than. It is ok to be a work in progress or that piece of artwork that’s unfinished, your canvas is not complete, and even if things are going well still aim high. Because you will fall down but you won’t stay there. You will question career choices or almost relationships. You will lose friends and make new ones, and the ones that were there for years they know who you are, you don’t need to prove yourself or be a pushover. You have to know that it is ok to say no sometimes or make a decision that you feel was for the best and your safety. Again, you have nothing to prove. Patience matters, prayer matters, positivity matters. You will learn who you are from experiences. Don’t let any mishaps discourage you. Don’t trust those who do not have your best interests in their hearts. Trust yourself. Proceed from there. Never stop loving you, because you’re going to need you. Remember, love you always. Always love you.

P.S.  What advice would you give to your younger self?

Sincerely,

Elishia

Check out my “Loving Me” video here!

Here we are, March has begun. A strange month in my opinion because as it allows us to acknowledge spring is near it also is still cold. March is the reminder that those summer vacation plans you have in mind need to be booked soon and 3 months in to any resolutions or goals you wonder if you’ve achieved anything. March for me especially this year I feel pressure, pressure with the upcoming wedding in May for my sister. I just want everything to go beautifully for her, and I know it will. But the real pressure on my end is my career and unsure what my next steps should be aside from applying to the 100th job (more like 50th) in the last 3 years. I don’t keep count per se but I know it’s in the 50s. It’s been a slow couple of seasons but time still goes tick and tock.

I am anxious to figure out my purpose and what God is calling me to do. How do I start this path? I am certain my current semi-existence at my job is not where I should be. There’s no fulfillment, no excitement. I need more. I need to feel apart of something worthwhile. I need to feel happiness.

Because at yet another standstill of confusion and angst I have to wonder, what new beat should I march to?

From my heart to yours,

-Elishia

I have this feeling, an honest feeling that makes me go back to an uncomfortable time in my life: high school. It wasn’t a dreadful experience but it wasn’t always pleasant. I wanted to be liked but I spent most of my four years as a student feeling misunderstood. Yeah I had friends, the ones I kept close I felt “got” me but it still felt like a battle to even be noticed.

Today I feel like that girl stuck in her head so much during high school. True this girl, ME, I did quite a few leaps since then, achieved lots. But beyond the two notches under my belt that are my post high school degrees, I feel unnoticed again and dare I say it, unpopular?

I spend a lot of dedication and time to promote and share my work via social media to virtual friends and followers but the promotion doesn’t seem to be catching on. Is the content not interesting? Are people so damn busy to read a brief poem or a blog post? Have I lost you already?

If you’re still there reading, thank you. I am certain that I don’t NEED likes or shares or views of my work, but it doesn’t hurt to want to feel acknowledged. Everyone’s just too busy. Or are you? What interests you? It’s tough nowadays with how media content is set up. You don’t even really have to read an article seeing as how you read the title and therefore “liked” it. But what about what else it says? As a writer I world like to feel my work is at the very least scanned over and read in enough detail to follow beyond the title.

These honest feelings go beyond being a writer. I think about other people who aim to promote their brand and ideas but with another similar to them it may be hard to stand out. That’s not quite my problem as I know especially with my poetry it is original, fresh and my own style. However, that unpopular invisible cloak I feel draped over me.

I wonder, should I post my work to social media everyday? I already don’t like to overload on all of it as I balance taking in the virtual world in doses. Yes, my desire to be “seen” goes beyond social media because there are other ways to promote. Though this social media piece seems so essential.

Perhaps I’m looking at it all wrong or completely one-sided. But I can’t deny the unpopular feeling. The feeling that as Sonny said to Cologero in A Bronx Tale, “Nobody cares.” I know, I know, this isn’t some coming of age/mob story but I find it has some truth. At the end of everyday people have their “stuff” some even all about “self.” So you can give your all as much as you can but do others really care?

But just like in high school when I lost the class president election to a more popular girl, Continue reading →

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sure the day is just about over but that doesn’t mean you can’t use some tips on how to get through the remainder of this love-filled day. February 14th is just another day but it is also the most popular occasion where the media makes some single people feel more lonely and men feeling forced that they must do something special for their mate. I like Charlie Brown will not get sucked into the commercialized hoopla that is Valentine’s Day, and since ole cupid has not struck me with his ancient arrow I’m just going to chalk this day up for what it is. I’m just fine with that.

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, newly engaged, engaged for some years now, married, divorced, we all need advice on how to keep it positive. This survival guide will be more purposeful for: The Single Girl, The Girl Who’s Faking It, The Almost Married Girl, and anyone else in between. So before you drop your Cinderella glass slipper of hope or that Saturday night in glass of wine, here are some suggestions to help you keep a love for yourself momentum going even after V-Day is over.

For: The Single Girl

Yeah, you’re single for the who knows what year in a row on Valentine’s Day but who’s counting! No, I don’t want you to watch some sappy or romantic movie to make you feel like you’re missing something. Here’s what you’ll need:

• Popcorn (don’t burn it)
• Watch Clueless cause as Cher says, “Whatever!”
• Start or finish a book. Suggestion: Breath, Eyes, Memory by: Edwidge Danticat
• Write 2-3 sentences in the notes of your phone a proud moment you had so far this year.

For: The Girl Who’s Faking It

Girl, let me tell you if it looks shady and just…not right, leave it alone. If the guy/girl in your life is causing you nothing but a headache, pop a pain reliever and drop them, or at least have a conversation with them to express your feelings. There was a point where they just weren’t that into you and now that your relationship may be beneficial for them doesn’t mean it’s right. Here’s what you have to do:

• Don’t bring the problem past today, confront it. Afterwards treat yourself to something sweet. M&Ms?
• Pray on the situation, maybe your paths will cross again for a relationship but for now take that “me time.”
• Focus on the true loves of your life: your family, your child(ren), close friends you can confide in.
• Write 2-3 sentences in the notes of your phone a proud moment you had so far this year.

For: The Almost Married Girl

So on this heart-shaped day you’re more so thinking about YOUR upcoming heart-shaped day – the wedding. The pressure is on more than likely, it’s a special time for you but probably overwhelming. Whether you’re getting hitched this spring, summer, or by the end of 2015 it’s probably all you can think about and rightfully so. Marriage and the ceremony before it is like a big production. But with the right players, behind the scenes support, and a positive outlook things will come together. Don’t fret you’re doing your best. Before you jump the broom try this before the day ends:

• Inhale positivity, exhale negativity. Repeat.
• Tell your sweetie you love them. Repeat.
• Wash your face from the woes of the day and rest up.
• Write 2-3 sentences in the notes of your phone a proud moment you had so far this year.

From my heart to yours,

-Lish xoxo

“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.” That’s exactly what it was supposed to do last night but I woke up to a thin powdery dusting of snow. Depending on where you live, here in the northeast certain areas got hit harder than others. Because I had a day off from work anyway it didn’t quite effect me but I was looking forward to the first blizzard of 2015!

So if you’re indoors like me first off, chill, keep a low profile and take it easy. Us working folks know days like this don’t roll around too often so RELAX. But if you want to be somewhat productive I have some brief suggestions.

Check out these sections Labels, Love, Living, for more!

From my heart to yours,

Lish

There’s this song when rap mogul/icon all of that good stuff P. Diddy was “Puff Daddy” and at this specific time in the 90’s he had the world rocking with his hits. While he had many #1 songs, was featured on songs and produced many more, there’s this one line from R&B group SWV’s song “Someone” that resonates with me even today. “Don’t speak about it, be about it,” was part of his intro line on the song. While his lyrics were catchy and probably a little cheesy, that line means something to me. I haven’t researched enough to see if that specific line is a quote from someone else, I just know Diddy/Puff was the first person I heard say it in 1997. But of course that line, “Don’t speak about it, be about it” in many variations and however it is phrased, it is motivational.

As 2015 is in full effect I am so full of urgency, some angst, and overall just ready to feel joy, happiness, and no denying of what is mine. It’s like the “Bad Boy Forever” star said to be about it, speak whatever you want to take shape and happen in your life. Why question my abilities or what may or may not be a smart decision or timely one? If I have the air in my lungs, the spring in my step to be driven and willing to go for the happiness I am seeking, why not go after my dreams, turn them into real life?

The goal(s) I am working on, besides money being a main factor in what has slowed me down, there isn’t much I can think of that is holding me back. I want to build a stronger me, a difference in location in New York City. It is more than a dream I’ve had since the 7th grade when I wanted to go to NYU, it is a feeling, a gut feeling and no doubt that I deserve it. So why not, “speak it into existence” as the saying goes? Besides my immediate family being here in Philly and some friends, there is nothing keeping me here. Everyone is living their lives, taking their trips, getting their new jobs, soon to be graduating, having babies, almost married. When is it my turn to live out my dreams, do the possible?

So my lips, my lips are movin’, I’m talking and I’m saying what I want, even beyond these typed words. I cannot settle, I cannot wait, patience is my new middle name so I’m ready. And while my lips are movin’ I want my legs and feet to do the same. Walking by faith, my sights set on what I believe God has prepared me for the last few years. I have listened. Now I am speaking.

You should too. From my heart to yours,

-Elishia

Please visit the “Living” section concerning health insurance, how to be a healthier you if you don’t have it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It is officially 2015! I’m cleaning house, not just because it is a new year but seriously, I deserve positive changes.

As I did laundry before 2014 ended I realized there was something symbolic about this routine form of cleaning that we all do. It came to my attention that I needed to also tidy up my personal and professional life, scrub away the fear, suds up the courage and rinse off the uncertainty. Today, and everyday I am making conscious efforts to have a better attitude and to flip any negativity into something great, something that makes me happy.

This video simply shows me having some fun while home alone, I was bored and didn’t care if I looked silly. The song “Shine” by Estelle seemed appropriate for my mood. Hey, I’m being fearless, you should try it too!

From my heart to yours,

Elishia

Happy New Year!

Hey you fabulous reader you! Friday may be over but I’m still sharing this. My Friday Favorites video, 5 things that I’ve been using lately or really love! See it here.

-Elishia